Copyright: Mike10613

This site was updated on 12/01/2011 16:13    

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The funny and naughty bits. . .

News: Come back to find more fun when I update this page.

 

Suggestions?

Do you have a suggestion for something I can put on this page? lol Email me! In the meantime.......

 

They have stopped doing peel and stick stamps in the USA ( so I'm told)  and issued stamps you have to lick again - but to give you some incentive...

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

I found a soccer team to support at last - and they need all the support they can get!

 Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

 

This is a nerd with her glasses on and then without her glasses:

 

   Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket                  Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

 

It seems to make a difference . . .

 

This is the fun page - if you can find it - send stuff in but nothing pornographic or that breaks adsense rules.

This is funny:

My wife and I were watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"
while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want
to have sex?"

"No," she answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And then the fight started....
******************************************

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my
lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the
boat up to the van, and proceeded to back out into a
torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I
pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and
discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped
back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a
different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out
there is terrible."

My loving wife of 5 years replied, "Can you believe my
stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started...
******************************************

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside
the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You
know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little
things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it....
He was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me
, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!"

So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are
you?"

And then the fight started.....
*****************************************
 

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes
from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started...
******************************************
 

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her
some place expensive... so, I took her to a gasoline station.

And then the fight started.....
******************************************
 

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to
apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter
asked me for my driver's License to verify my age. I looked
in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I
told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go
home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt
revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair
on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my
Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my
experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might
have gotten disability, too.'

And then the fight started...
******************************************
 

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my school reunion,
and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as
she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she
took to drinking right after we split up those many years
ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go
on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...
******************************************
 

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason
took my order first. "I'll have the steak, medium rare,
please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""

Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started...
******************************************
A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband,
"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need
you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replied, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And then the fight started.......

*******************************************

 

That's the lot....

 

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